Esteé Lauder's Clear Difference Purifying Exfoliating Mask

Immersing myself back into skincare (one of my loves) today, and it's this Esteé Lauder Clear Difference Purifying Exfoliating Mask * which I recently took on holiday with me as a solution to my skin, which always gets a bit blemish-y, due to all the sun, sea, sand and sangria - so I always find that a good mask is an essential to take away with me. I wrap it up, nice and safe, hide it within my clothes and pray that it makes it to the other end in one piece; the wonderful about this little tub, is that's it's very, very sturdy, so there's almost no way that it's going to get pierced or start oozing anything, unless it's takes a very heavy knock. But hopefully that'll never happen (*knocks on wood*). Anyway, this mask wasn't even something that I knew Esteé Lauder did, so receiving this Clear Difference product in the post was a wonderful surprise! I'm a huge, huge, huuuuge fan of the EL ranges of skincare, so expanding my product knowledge is always something that I love doing, especially when this particular mask is clay based; for me, clay looooves to draw out all the oil and impurities from my skin, and as I have an oily/combination complexion, this pot is always handy to have around. Plus I love looking at the little 'Esteé Lauder' inscribed on the polished gold lid, making it look so fancy and expensive, when it's no where near as expensive as other clay masks/cleansers on the market. 

Mixed into the clay, are some small exfoliating beads, which aren't abrasive or harsh on the skin, no matter how sensitive you are, and I only find myself using it as an exfoliating when I remove the mask with a soft flannel. For me, it's a brilliant mix of purifying clay, which always leaves my skin with a lovely glow, and tiny beads, which buff away all the impurities and dead skin cells which the mask has drawn out. Another main element of this mask for me, is that fact that it didn't strip my skin or leave it feeling dry (that's always a bad sign, because you know all the natural oils and goodness have been taken away), but this doesn't surprise me, as Esteé Lauder know how to make good skincare, and their Clear Difference range is no different. 

The last time I repurchased my Advanced Night Repair Serum, I received a little tester of the Clear Difference Serum (£45, here), which is aimed at congested and oily skin i.e. my skin, so I was very excited to start trying it out, as soon as my skin got back into it's routine with ANR. Not only do their testers last ages, but I got so much use out of it, that by using the two serums together (ANR every other night, and Clear Difference under my makeup and every other night) my skin loved the combination, and with the use of the mask, started to get itself under control, even during my extremely hormonal phases. I do suffer with a lot of under the skin blemishes on forehead, but these serums really do combat the issues, and the Clear Difference Mask really helps to buff away the build up of skin when I use it twice a week. I've also been using the serum and mask combined with the oil free moisturiser, which is actually more like a mattifying gel, and if you get shiny skin by midday, this is a product for you! It will be getting it's own individual review post, but Esteé Lauder's Clear Difference Oil Control/Mattifying Hydrating Gel * (£42, here) has been a moisturiser I've been reaching for a lot the past few weeks, and it's been sitting really well under my makeup, keeping everything plump and moisturised, but matte for as long as possible, before my natural oils come out to play and start to make me look really glowy. 

The texture of the mask feels luxurious on the skin, and the packaging is nothing less than I would expect from Esteé Lauder; they've always been one of those super sleek, classic, sat on your dressing table kinda brands for me, and I'm sure they'll stay that way for decades to come. It sells for £35 for 75ml (here), and considering that I've used this 10+ times, the amount really doesn't seem to be going down anytime soon - which makes it such a brilliant investment if you're looking for a clay based mask to draw out all of the impurities and blemishes from your skin, as well as something which can also be used to buff away at the skin, making your appearance brighter. I love a good clay mask, and this is a very welcome addition to my stash, and something that I reach for weekly when my skin feels flustered and heavy. I would gladly repurchase this after it runs out, although I don't see that happening for a while. That's another amazing thing about Esteé Lauder, their products just seem to go on and on... and hopefully, on and on. 

My post-Holiday Tale: Travelling, anxiety and sickness.

I've always been one for travel sickness, as far as I can remember. Packing is all excitement and organisation, as is the trip to the airport/ferry port etc, but when I get there... that's when the anxiety comes in. The sweaty palms, the nausea, the hyperventilating ... I don't know why it happens, it just does. I know when I get to my destination, I'll feel fine. There'll be no illness to speak of... it'll just be the beforehand that I have to deal with. It's horrible, because I never thought that it was anxiety, but perhaps just nerves? But surely nervousness would go away after flying a few times? I don't know, I'm still undecided about what exactly this is... It feels like a kind of bubbling, doubt-filled mood... where you feel sick and kinda don't want to go anywhere? Like I'd take a sleeping pill and wake up when I get there. But let me tell you this, my flight to Menorca was two hours long. Two hours! That is nothing at all in flight length, but I still felt like I couldn't do it. Earlier in the year, my flight to Turkey was about four and a half hours long, and that seemed fine... from what I can remember (my boyfriend may have a different story to tell) and on the flight back, I just remember thinking that I couldn't wait for the flight to end, and to get home to bed. I think I was actually quite relaxed about the whole thing... I even remember breaking out my really intricate colouring book, so it could pass the time quicker. It did, if you're ever looking to pass the time somewhere - colouring is the option for you. I remember flying to Egypt once, with my family, and I was so nervous and anxious beforehand, that I actually vomited... close to the duty free... not a good look. Maybe it's because it's just me and my boyfriend? Or maybe just the unknown? Why does anxiety happen, is like one of those unanswerable questions, to me. I just don't know why it happens to me.

I think I used to be an okay traveller when I was younger. I remember long driving holidays to the Lake District, and not feeling anything but sleepy... mainly because I was small, and those drives were always so long. So I don't know where this...fear(?) came from? Is it the unknown or just the uncomfortable idea of things changing? I'm not the biggest lover of change, but sometimes I do feel like it's called for - like I really feel the need for it. I could really do with a new job and a move to a bigger city, but I think there's also some subconscious anxiety that makes me mess up job interviews, and shut out anything productive or appealing I could say to an Interviwer. Yes, I can do the job, I would give it everything I have... but can I get that across to the person? Nope. I get horrendous;y nervous... basically so nervous I'll be close to being sick, and then I'll just be this sweet, almost vapid person with nothing interesting to say, but a notebook that says 'Pugs not Drugs'. I don't know what's wrong with me. I can do these jobs that I apply for, but it seems that I'm my own worst enemy; I think I need to overcome some serious doubts about myself. About what I'm capable of, and of who I am. I think I'm okay at writing, photography and the many areas that come with blogging, certainly not the best at it, and i'm good at my job. But trying to sell myself to someone who doesn't know me for me, is incredibly difficult.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this on here, but a blog, aside from all the skincare and makeup, is basically an online diary, yes? Perhaps it's also a way of saying things that would usually take a lot more effort and gumption to say in real life? Perhaps it's also a way of saying something, without actually having to say it out loud? Maybe I'm still afraid. I wrote a blog post about fear back in August, and although I've given it a lot of thought, I think it's going to take a lot more than a few months to knock myself out of it. I don't think fear is necessarily is a bad thing, it reminds us of the fact that we're human, but I don't want it to control my life. That's something I need to work on. 

Design your own Wellies with Joules and win!

This morning I received an email which I thought was so fun, I wanted to share it with you lovelies! Since then, I've been playing around with various styles and it's super fun! I think a hot pink with blue stags was my favourite style, but there are so many options! Let me know what you come up with :) It's super easy to enter, and if your design is chosen, the winning design will be put into production! I for one wish that my pink/blue combination will win, as I would totally wear those bad boys <3 the link for the competition can be found here (http://getcreative.joules.com/) and not only would your design be in production, but all of the funds from the sales with go to their Charity: Charitably Joules.

Here's some extras about what you lovelies can win! A luxury break worth £5000, 3 wonderful nights in a Golden Oak Treehouse Cabin and even if you don't win, there's the chance for 10 runners up to win £250 gift cards! It's super fun to enter, so what have you got to lose? The winning design will go on sale on Joules.com. Let me know which design you choose, and definitely let me know if you win!

*Post in collaboration with Joules. 

Current Makeup Bag Favourites

I love talking about makeup. I talk about it on my lunch break with the girls in work, on Twitter with my followers/those that I follow, my family, friends and also brands/pr's, because makeup is a huuuuge part of life for me. It's not so much about hiding, as it used to be when I was younger; at the age of 12/13 when most girls wore makeup, and you were made fun for your skin/hair/weight/intelligence level/where you lived/what bag you used/where you sat... so I basically wanted to blend in, with clean hair and as much makeup as I could get on my face, with my minimal pocket money's worth of products. I remember shopping with my mum and begging her to buy me this and that, saying that I needed it. I didn't need it. I just wanted it, so much, so I could fit in and go through school unscathed. I didn't get through five years of secondary school unscathed, but who does/did, right? So yeah, makeup used to be about, basically shovelling it on my face... but now, many years later, many tutorials watched and many products tried, I'm familiar with my face and what works on it.

My skin can wear a lot of bases, regardless of coverage, it's always the concealer I need to focus on and three products that I love to use are Estee Lauder's Double Wear Light Foundation (£29.50, here), Maybelline's Eraser Eye Concealer (£7.99, here) and Rimmel's Lasting Finish Concealer (£5.49, here). These three cover all manner of sins and blemishes, whilst still creating a light enough base that it still doesn't look too heavy. The foundation from Estee Lauder looks like more of a Summer/warmer weather choice, but I wear it regardless as it gives such a wonderfully glowy light/medium coverage. The two concealers are basically for any time of year in my opinion, and I'm all about concealer (keep your eyes on the blog to see a post dedicated to concealer). Continuing onwards, three products that I would have touched a year ago are three of my hero products; Charlotte Tilbury's Bronze and Glow Palette (£49, here), Too Faced's Chocolate Soliel Bronzer (£25, here) and The Body Shop's Honeycomb Bronzer (£13, here) - all three represent the evolution of my makeup choices and how with experience and influence, these three have become such an important part of my makeup routine. Yes, two out of three are a bit expensive, but with the quality, I use them everyday and they don't let me down. Charlotte Tilbury's Palette is a mixture of contour and highlight, a delightful pairing that complement each other so well, and give that added pop of 'wow' to the face (as you can tell, 'Sculpt' has more of a dent than 'Highlight', as I think the highlighter is a bit too sparkly for everyday usage). The quality is superb, as is the Bronzer from The Body Shop, which at only £13, is a bargain for how amazing it is - I have the shade 02 and it's perfect for when my pale skin has a touch of tan, but even in the dead of Winter, I'll still be using this to perk my skin up. The last offering from this section, is from Too Faced, and to be honest, it wasn't something that I was impressed with at first. I loved the smell, but the colour seemed a big blergh. Since I've reused it, I officially love it - perhaps I was too heavy with the brush I use it with, or simply wasn't used to it, but now it adds definition to my cheekbones and looks gorgeous on my skin. 

Another three additional main face.. products. By main face I mean like, the cheeks/cheekbones etc... basically where you put all your base products. Anyway! I have an obsession with Bourjois' Cream blushes (£7.99, here), especially in the colours Healthy Glow and Rose Tender, which I use basically everyday because they go on like a dream, and can be easily blended should I apply too much. The little round pots pack such a colour punch that I take them on every holiday and weekend away, as they're so simple to use. Brilliant, creamy and long lasting! The last product is from Makeup Revolution, and it's their Goddess of Love highlighter (£4.99, here), a product that I've been in love with since I bought it; it's had it's own blog post dedicated to it, and I've inspired a lot of others to buy this pearly beauty, because it's amazing! Plus the baked highlighter is in the shape of a heart, so what's not to like about that? 

Natural Collection Eyeshadows (£1.99, here) are a reintroduction for me, as I used to use them quite a lot when I was younger, as they were cheap, cheerful and a brilliant formula - fast forward a few years, and after accumulating a lot of eyeshadows, I find myself coming back to this fabulous little pots. The three colours above are (from left to right), Sea Shell, Milk Chocolate and Asteroid, which are a fantastic trio for any base eye look, such as a smokey eye, or even just a defined crease. Whether used separately or together, these three are bargain shadows that I cannot recommend enough to those looking to expand their makeup collection. Another quick addition to the eyeshadow paragraph, is a cream offering from Mac Pro Longwear Paint Pot (£16, here) in the shade Bare Study, which is a wonderful glowy nude, i.e. the perfect base for any eyeshadow look. It especially looks gorgeous and illuminating in the corner of the eye. 

Onto some of the most 'fleek-wothy' products such as Anastasia Beverly Hill's Dip Brow Pomade (£15, here), Benefit's Gimme Brow (£18.50, here) and Maxfactor's False Lash Effect Mascara (£10.99, here), the latter a product I tend to get all over my eyelids because of how big the brush is. It's really good, don't get me wrong, but I'm just useless and it goes all over my skin. But with blending, it goes away, so there are no black splodges on my face whatsoever, thank goodness. Combined with a good eyelash curler, my lashes look intensely black and curled, something I struggle with as my eyelashes really struggle to hold curl, even with a waterproof mascara. So yeah, as the hip kids say, 'fleek'. My eyebrows are something that I'm very protective over, and ABH is something that I'm so glad was introduced into my life, not only for the quality, but for the look it goes. Natural but dramatic brows... everything that you could ever want in a creamy pot; I apply it with an angled eyeliner brush, and then I brush through the brows with Benefit's Gimme Brow, just to give them some texture, as they can look quite flat otherwise. I like brows to look like brows, as that's what I prefer. Texturised brow goals? 

The final three products are for the lips. I loooove a good lipstick, and two of my favourite brands right now, are Clinique and Mac, in the shades Poppy Pop, Melon Pop and Crosswires - three shades and two formulas that glide onto the lips, almost effortlessly, giving such a gorgeous look, perfect for any season. Although A/W tends to be more focused around darker colours (holla at me, berries), I do still like to switch it up with a pinky nude or an orange red. Clinique's Lip Pop's (£16, here) are gorgeous and long lasting, as they include a primer in the product, which helps them to stay put for longer than most lipsticks, and as I work in retail which involves a loooot of talking, these lipsticks stand up to their claims. Mac Creamsheen (£15.50, here) wasn't a formula I was really interested in when I got into the brand, but now, after looking for a more wearable, comfortable product from the brand, the shade Crosswires immediately caught my eye, and has immediately become a favourite. Especially when layered over Rimmel's Lip Liner in East End Snob. 

What are your makeup bag favourites right now? 

My Updated Skincare Stash Essentials

Back to blogging, and back to basics. A good base stems from good skin, and good skin is a product of good skincare... so I thought I'd show some of my favourite products; how long I've been using them, what benefits they're adding to my skin and whether I'd repurchase. I'll say this now, everything shown is a product that I would buy happily, with my own money. Regardless of cost, these products work for me, and I cannot keep my skin looking good day to day without them (with the exception of a surprise blemish... yeah, can't do anything about those little buggers). 

So let's start with the goodies in the basket: Pixi Glow Tonic, Queen Helene Mint Julep Masque, Aveeno Skin Relief Shea Butter Lotion and Vita Coco Coconut Oil. Four Products that my skin just loves. Aveeno and Vita Coco are two products that are really looking after my skin, in the transition from Summer to Autumn, and then Winter, as my skin gets so so dry and flakey at this time of year. A mix of these two products not only lock moisture in, but I know that they're doing my skin good. Much like my face and hair, I like to lean towards more natural products, unless they're chemical exfoliants (like Pixi's Glow Tonic) as my skin just drinks them in. I find that the two lotions help to combat my eczema, which flares up horrendously and itches so much, so soothing it is a main priority - as otherwise I'll just scratch and scratch until my skin is red raw and bleeding. Not a good look. My go-to masque of the moment for my face is the Mint Julep Masque, as not only is the smell divine, it soaks up all the oil from my t-zone and aids in fighting the oil production, which is a big issue I tend to have with my nose and forehead. I smooth it on, look like Medusa without the snake hair for 15 minutes, and then gently rinse it off with a flannel and warm water: my skin instantly looks brighter, and clearer - for me, it's one of the best masques out there for skin with blemishes and oily skin. Lastly for this section, it's Pixi's Glow Tonic (£18, here), a cult product that I knew I wanted for so long, and when I finally did try it... I wondered why I hadn't purchased it sooner. I soak it onto a cotton pad and run it all over freshly cleansed skin, before completing the rest of my routine. It leaves me looking fresh and clean, with it's Glycolic properties lifting dead skin cells and thereby exfoliating my skin once more - super clean skin, ready for all the oils and serums that my skin slurps up. 

Moving away from the basket of tricks, I have some of my basic skincare products, including face masks and even my deodorant (£2, here), which is such a godsend, as I'm such a sweaty Betty these days (thank you to Mitchum for keeping the sweating at bay). Soooo, let's start with a brand that I cannot get enough of; Ren. Ren Skincare is simple, effective and a staple in my face mask routines, so much so, I think I might cry when I run out of my Glycolactic Radiance Cleanser (£32, here) as well as my Flash Rinse 1 Minute Facial (£32, here), because they're just so damn good. I use the cleanser twice a week, and the Flash Rinse Facial once a week, or whenever my skin needs some perking up, as one thing that they do well, it make my skin look alive and healthy (something I desperately need right now with this cold *blows nose for the 100th time today*). From Ren masks, I'll move onto another one of my favourite brands, and that's Jurlique: the brands is full of natural, homegrown ingredients and my skin drinks them in so well, especially their Herbal Recovery Advanced Serum * (£49.50, here), and cult product, Rosewater Balancing Mist * (£24, here), which I may have mentioned numerous times... but hey-ho, I love them that much. 

Next up are some glow-getters and some super moisturising products: The Body Shop's Vitamin C Skin Reviver, Embryolisse's Lait Creme Concentre and Kiehl's Creamy Avocado Eye Treatment (£33, here) - three super selections that I love to use, not all together, as I only use Kiehl's during the nighttime, as I find that it's too rich to wear under my makeup during the day. But Embryolisse's moisturiser (£13, here) followed by the Vitamin C Skin Reviver (£16, here) is a duo for radiant skin that I swear by, and have been using for the past few days as I've been feeling under the weather. I would definitely recommend it to someone who's having some issues with dull looking skin during illness. It perks you up, making you look alive and well, when you just want to cuddle up in bed and watch Netflix. 

What skincare stash essentials have you been using recently? Any that I should keep an eye out for? Have you tried anything in this post? 

Why I fell out of love with blogging, and what's changed.

This post isn't going to centre around the blogging community, but mainly about myself... with maybe a bit of soul searching/whining thrown in (just because it's fun), but mostly, about why I felt like I had no energy or desire to blog/write/take photographs. I think the reasons why I was so uninspired was because that I felt like my photography/writing/content was soooo lacking compared to others (and I know we're not supposed to compare ourselves, but we all do it). I love photography, and love trying out new styles, but with amazing men/women/people creating amazing things, I just felt like I couldn't compete. So, I took a break... or temporarily gave up, depends on how you look at it. I've worked loads, travelled a tiny bit with my boyfriend, and as I write this, I'm four days away from my Holiday to Menorca (yay) and I'm trying to sort some Autumn/Winter holiday posts, before I lose all hope and pack away all my sandals, never to be seen again until next year.

So yeah, I gave up. There was/is something better at writing, at photography and styling blog posts, someone prettier and wittier... so where do I fit in? I figured out, that I didn't. Hence the no blog posts for a month (sorry about that, my loves) but now i'm hoping that this post, here, will be the start of something new for me. I just hated everything. My ideas, my writing, my photography (especially that) were all terrible and not good enough - I'm terrible in the sense that if I'm terrible at something, I'll usually give up unless I'm forced to continue onwards. But with blogging, it's different. It's a hobby, and something that's left a really big void in my life - yeah, there's only so much Netflix a girl can watch before it's just enough. But one day, I felt like I could take good pictures. The light was good, and I felt inspired. 100 pictures later, I felt like I had something good enough to post, and something I was actually proud of (which was a big deal for me, considered that my last big bout of picture taking was in July, and I basically hated them all). But now, with the turn of the season, OKK is going to have a voice again, and although it may not be as big, or important or life changing as others, it's mine, and I want to use it.

I've decided on a photography style that works for me (see above, what do you think?) and my writing style, which tends to just be me rambling about what I love and dislike, is going to be somewhat the same as before... hey, it's my voice right, may as well be true to myself. Plus, I wanted a new mascara, and because I've been so unengaged from the blogging world, I had no idea what products people were loving, so... I took a long time to nose around Boots before deciding on one by L'Oreal, as their mascaras tend to always suit me very well. But I basically had nooooo idea, and I hate that. So, back to the blogging world I go, and please leave me links to your blogs, I need to get back into reading all the wonderful beauty/lifestyle centric posts.