It may seem a bit odd, but i'd like everyone who reads this to take a breath. A deep breath. Weird, huh? I know it seems silly, but taking a breath, exhaling slowly... someone told me to do this, and even though I didn't feel at all stressed, troubled or overwhelmed, it helped. I don't mean to sound pretentious, but in that one breath, I felt better. It may be completely psychological, but controlling your breathing, and making you aware of it, it somehow… I can't even really explain it, it just makes everything seem calmer.
January may be the start of a new year, but troubles can still be carried over, and pain can still be felt, no matter what you, or anyone else may tell you. Heartbreak is a very serious, somewhat recent feeling for me, and yesterday, over coffee with my brothers ex girlfriend (they were together for five years), as we both teared up talking about our past relationships, it struck me how even though we may put on a brave front, and smile widely, the pain that we feel only comes to the surface when we're alone, or with someone who empathises. Taking a deep breath not only calmed me, but her as well, so don't hate me for saying this, but with pain, deep breaths can help to relax you. I think for me, when you're emotional, there's a control aspect… losing control of your emotions, i.e. crying when you promised yourself that you wouldn't (this has happened many times) is very hard to deal with, but by focusing on your breathing, you're restoring that control.
Control over my emotions is a big deal for me. I can be happy and when i'm not, I can pretend that I am, so much so, that no one notices (and the oscar goes to…) but i've also found that I'm a great deal more… sarcastic, and more hurtful whilst doing it. I think it's one of those things, almost reflex like, that when someone says something mean, or hurtful to me, instead of getting emotional and talking about it, I'll hit back, jab after jab until they leave me alone… and not even when i'm provoked, I just fire off these horrible words hoping to hurt people. The breathing during these kind of situations is still something I need to work on, but I think i'm getting there.
This has been quite a personal post, but, if someone is going through the same thing, and wants to know that they're not alone, then… yes, you're not alone. Heartbreak, or any kind of pain is terrible, and control is a uphill battle, but we'll get there. If anyone needs to chat, send me an email, or a tweet (@ohkalukalay) and i'll respond asap.
xx
January may be the start of a new year, but troubles can still be carried over, and pain can still be felt, no matter what you, or anyone else may tell you. Heartbreak is a very serious, somewhat recent feeling for me, and yesterday, over coffee with my brothers ex girlfriend (they were together for five years), as we both teared up talking about our past relationships, it struck me how even though we may put on a brave front, and smile widely, the pain that we feel only comes to the surface when we're alone, or with someone who empathises. Taking a deep breath not only calmed me, but her as well, so don't hate me for saying this, but with pain, deep breaths can help to relax you. I think for me, when you're emotional, there's a control aspect… losing control of your emotions, i.e. crying when you promised yourself that you wouldn't (this has happened many times) is very hard to deal with, but by focusing on your breathing, you're restoring that control.
Control over my emotions is a big deal for me. I can be happy and when i'm not, I can pretend that I am, so much so, that no one notices (and the oscar goes to…) but i've also found that I'm a great deal more… sarcastic, and more hurtful whilst doing it. I think it's one of those things, almost reflex like, that when someone says something mean, or hurtful to me, instead of getting emotional and talking about it, I'll hit back, jab after jab until they leave me alone… and not even when i'm provoked, I just fire off these horrible words hoping to hurt people. The breathing during these kind of situations is still something I need to work on, but I think i'm getting there.
This has been quite a personal post, but, if someone is going through the same thing, and wants to know that they're not alone, then… yes, you're not alone. Heartbreak, or any kind of pain is terrible, and control is a uphill battle, but we'll get there. If anyone needs to chat, send me an email, or a tweet (@ohkalukalay) and i'll respond asap.
xx
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