'When are you Expecting?' 'I'm not, I've just got a gut'.

I want to say that the title is exactly how that conversation went. But I panicked. I started to sweat and my mind went blank, so I made up this entire thing about how I was pregnant... and I realised that I can lie pretty well. But that's not really the point of this.

Let me give you a little bit of background information to this. I tend to carry weight around my hips and the lower part of my stomach, so when I'm bloated, my stomach does protrude ever so slightly. I never really thought that this was that obvious, as none of the girls that I work with have ever said that I look bloated, pregnant or anything related to having a protruding stomach. I was wearing a striped casual pencil skirt, and a chiffon-y white top that had the front part tucked into the top of my pencil skirt, as it was high waisted and made me look a good mixture between smart and casual. I was feeling pretty good; although it was ridiculously sunny, and a Sunday - but you know, retail is all about working when you don't want, in weather you'd rather be outside in.

I was speaking to a customer, who was rail thin in a lovely black maxi dress, and quite nice (oh how my opinion of her would change); we were talking about her day and what she was up to (turns out she was on her way to the beach, and of course I was envious). 'At least I'll get to enjoy the rest of the sun when I finish' I added, before popping away to get her parcel. When I returned, she'd obviously been watching me returning and had concluded that by my bloated stomach, that I was pregnant. She'd put two and two together, and had gotten fifteen. 'Do you know what you're expecting?' She asked. I have to admit, I think I looked at her oddly for a few seconds before immediately grasping what she meant. Basically she thought I was so pregnant that I would already know what the gender was of this imaginary baby that I was apparently having.

When I think back on this, I should have said 'No, I'm not pregnant. And it's rude to assume so, unless someone explicitly tells you so'. But I didn't. I panicked and just lied until she left. I'm not going to be gentle and say that her telling me this didn't affect me. It felt like a punch to the stomach. I wanted to go home and crawl under my duvet. I will also say that I'm not a small, gentle person. What I wear can range from a 12/14/16 depending on the fit, material and whether my boobs can fit into it. I'm the first to admit that my stomach isn't flat. It's soft, and it wobbles just like the rest of me but because I'm quite tall, with wide hips, most people generally assume that I wear a 12 in most items. Hypothetically if I was a size 12, which I was in that certain striped skirt, how dare she just blatantly ask, not only if I was pregnant, but if I knew what the sex was?! 

Casually dropping a question like that into conversation, with a person who hadn't initiated that topic is just plain rude - it just seems that people who work in retail are just there at the beck and call of those who shop - which I understand is kinda the idea - But I am not there to be proverbially poked and prodded for your own amusement. Maybe she was being spiteful, maybe she wasn't - but that doesn't change the fact that you Never ever ever ask someone if they're pregnant without them first telling you. You may suspect as much as you like, but never be that person. Do you know what that person is? Fucking rude. 

Three women (certainly not me) in work with me are pregnant, and although I did suspect, I never once asked them - because I seem to have a common decency within me that this lady was lacking. 

I think it even comes down to me wearing something tight fitting without being stick thin. I wear close fitting garments because if I don't, I look even bigger. How am I supposed to help customers with clothing when I would be wearing a tent-like dress - something that would not be flattering on me at all (could be a really good look on others, but not me). I don't dress like I have a size 8/10 body as I'm aware of what I look like and what suits my figure. I don't squeeze myself into items that are too small for me - I weigh up these choices very well before wearing anything. I know structure, straps and wrap dresses suit my figure, whilst anything backless/braless and frontless are not things that I can wear. I know this. But she made me feel like I couldn't wear that skirt again. Like whenever I wear it, I'll be mistaken for a woman who has made the choice in her life to have a child. 

Yes, one day, I imagine I'll be able to say 'yes', without having to lie through my teeth and that'll be nice when it happens. But that's not right now, and hopefully not even me for the next five years. 

The one thing that really upsets me, is that she made me feel ashamed of how I look. Being bigger busted and a size 12/14/16 already has me feeling bigger than those that I'm close friends with - the 8's/10's etc. I don't mind that, because they're beautiful in their own way, and so am I. But she made me feel so ashamed of myself that I was close to tears when I was speaking to my Assistant Store Manager. But then she raised a good point. She told me that I was a beautiful creature (awww) but also that if I looked pregnant, she'd tell me (which is always nice haha). 

Basically to sum up, if you think someone is pregnant, don't be a douchebag and actually ask them about it. You will either have them confirm that yes, they are pregnant and you'll have a lovely chat. Or you'll find out that they're not and have them feel horrible about themselves. Don't be an absolute bellend - wait for them to bring it up first.