A little life update and three lists of three things.

You know that feeling where you really want to write, but aren't in the mood and therefore nothing inspires you. I want to write about makeup, but all that's going through my mind is how .. middle of the road I feel. That kind of 'I can't be bothered' but 'really am bothered at the same time' feeling that leaves me wanting to tear my hair out, because surely I should be able to decide on something that I want to do/want to feel? Nope. So whilst I was showering and thinking about upcoming blog posts, it hit me that on my day off today, I should be happy as #1 I had a lie in, #2 I'm having a barbecue later and #3 I don't have to do anything that I don't want to, today - but I'm not happy. And then I realised, I'm okay with not being happy. Who's happy all day long after all? But people constantly say 'Oh, cheer up/be happy/there are a lot of people a lot worse off that you' etc. I'm not one to dispute the suffering of others, but why should others make me feel bad for wanting to feel how I want? Why should we have to hide our emotions and paint on a saccharine smile? So this is what I have discovered.

1. You don't have to be happy all the time. I'm a positive person, so being angry or sad is something not a great deal of people see, so they assume that there is something really wrong - 'Be happy. Be positive'. How about no? You shouldn't have to adhere to their ideas of how you should act. If you want to frown, you do it. You shouldn't have to apologise for what you feel. 

2. Not knowing what you want to do with your life. It's stressful. I'm 23 and I have no clue. I admire people that do, but that flash panic when someone asks you what you want to do, reminds me of when I was 16 and there were people asking me the same thing. What's changed in the last 7 years? College, University and my first job. What's actually changed? Nothing. I'm still really unaware of what I want to do. Currently, I'm okay with that. I just think, I'm going to figure it out one day. Perhaps it's another reason to frown, but I think life is too short to stress, and once I figure out what I want, I'll be able to commit to it.

3. Blogging is a fantastic outlet. It really is. It's a creative persons dream. Writing, photography, marketing - it's all so wonderful that I cannot believe so many thousands of us do it as a hobby. I have a job, as do many of us, so the fact that so many of us produce content that competes so well with those who do it full time is so admirable. But there's also that negativity. 'Why can she do it full time and I can't?', I have these very thoughts myself, and it's the envy that actually inspires me to up my game in my photography/writing/marketing even when I don't feel like doing anything blogging related. I think competition, which some paint as ugly, as well as envy can actually inspire us to better ourselves and our blogs. It's also okay to be negative. Blogging isn't all sunshine and rainbows. It's hard, exhausting work that needs constant attention and marketing; it's okay to stress and cry about these things. It wouldn't be something you were passionate about unless you let your emotions out. 

Also, three little lists of three things that perk me up when I'm feeling sad. Three songs that make me sing, in my terribly bad voice, and flip my hair like i'm in a music video. #1 It's my Birthday by will.i.am and Cody Wise. #2 Just Drive by Alistair Griffin. #3 What I did for Love by David Guetta and Emeli Sande. 

Three skincare products that make me smile. #1 Nip and Fab Deep cleansing fix (reviewed here). #2 Benefit It's Potent eye cream (reviewed here) #3 Jurlique Rosewater Balancing Mist (reviewed here)

Three movie quotes that always make me laugh. #1 'Still not a good enough reason to use the word 'penetrate'' from Pitch Perfect. #2 'You're off the fucking chain' from Hot Fuzz. #3 'I'd climb him like a tree' from Bridesmaids.