Wednesday 7 January 2015

On the issue of negativity, and how I'm dealing with it.


Dealing with negativity 1

I think negativity is rife these days. It's not just within the blogging community, and those who think we're a bunch of begging freeloaders (yeah, those people are out there) but within the people who are closest to you. Our friends, our family, and that is perhaps harder to accept than criticism from a faceless brand/person who we don't know in real life. I think I'm incredibly lucky to have gotten to where I am today, in terms of my blogging, and in my life. I've had opportunities that some would not have, and I'm very thankful for them - but there's a looming cloud above us as bloggers, and today, in fact, earlier this afternoon, I had a family member describe one of my social media accounts as 'full of crap' when a poster, with images from my Instagram account arrived, much to my evident delight (at the poster, not at the harsh words). I like to think I'm quite a strong person, and perhaps it was only said because this person believes that I am able to just shrug off certain opinions - but you know when when negativity just builds up and up? There is bound to be a point where, enough is enough.

I do sometimes feel quite frustrated with the blogging community, over undeclared pr samples and sponsored posts, the #prrequest tag on Twitter and how smaller bloggers, never seem to get the recognition they deserve. Yes, there are big bloggers that are wonderful, and have gotten everything that they should, such as Jane from BritishBeautyBlogger and Hayley from LondonBeautyQueen, but what about the bloggers that also really hold true to their morals about PR samples and sponsored posts, like Gemma, Sandra and Adrienne to name a few? I trust these ladies wholeheartedly, and whilst they may not be on Youtube and have 500,000 followers, I know that their reviews are honest and not swayed by companies. The 'big bloggers' that most of us know, without me naming names, have gone from strength to strength, but it was only a few months ago when I unfollowed all of their blogs, Youtube accounts, Instagrams and Twitters, because who needs the negativity and second guessing of who you can trust, in your life? I don't want to read something, which has been gifted (and most of the time not disclaimed), had glowing reviews by numerous bloggers, and then find myself thinking that it's a terrible product, after spending hard earned money on it. I find that by cutting those bloggers out of my life and my reading list, then I can trust everyone else and that has helped to ease the huge amount of negativity that hit me late last year.

With family and friends, it's harder to accomplish ridding your life of negativity, as you can't just unfollow them, and expect them to stay away. If only life was that easy. Negativity happens, and although there are times when I just break down into tears because I can't handle it, there are others times when it just inspires me to work harder; maybe it's to prove something to them, or even myself, but up I go, as if they aren't able to bring me down. I told myself that I would try and keep myself away from negativity, or people who aren't worth my time; so far, friends who are true, text me and call me - they're not waiting for me to call or text them, which I had spent numerous years of my life doing. They say when you get older, your circle of friends gets smaller and your ability to make friends gets harder, which I understand in theory - but in the motion of shrugging off negativity, I think you can do whatever it is, that you want to do. Make friends. Don't make friends. Cut old friends out of your life. Don't cut them out. I just want to be happy. I want everyone to be happy. So, in order to combat negativity in my life, I'm making short term goals for myself to achieve this year. Such as; Number #1, Going on holiday. Sounds simple, but it's a big step for me. Where I want to go. Where I want to stay. What I want to eat. What I want to buy. Number #2, getting a full time job and a place to live. The not so simple part. Full time jobs are hard to come by, as is a decent place to live, on a good street with lovely people. I'll have to update you on that. Number #3, coming up with new, inventive ideas for my blog. Another not so simple feat. Innovation is hard to come by, especially with hundreds of astounding bloggers out there, but I suppose I'll try my best.

How are you dealing with the negativity in your life?
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6 comments

  1. Really enjoyed this post. I've only just started blogging so am quite new to the community but can't help but wonder why some 'big' bloggers get so much recognition just for reviewing a product that they've been sent for free. I much prefer personal posts like this to be honest where you get to know a little more about the blogger!
    Hope you start to feel a little more positive soon - I struggle with seeing things in a positive light myself too xx

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  2. Great post and thank you for the mention. I found towards the middle of last year that unfollowing or muting was the way to go - the blogosphere was getting so noisy and competitive that I sort of removed myself so I could focus on what I was doing and not worrying about what everyone else was doing! I can promise it really helped to just balance myself. I know that sometimes it seems like 'big blogs' have it easy, but it couldn't be further from the truth. We've just been here longer! I love to see opinions on the UK blogosphere, so thank you for writing this. I love also that you mention Hayley because she is a great friend of mine and we kind of 'vent' every now and again on the subjects that you have to be a blogger for it to have any meaning. Thank you again x

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  3. This was a fab post, I definitely relate to you a lot, the negativity is tough to handle but we get through it. I also don't follow a lot of the big bloggers, just not worth it. Good luck with your goals, I definitely think they are achieveable and will bring a lot of positivity! x

    Jasmin Charlotte | UK Lifestyle Blog

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  4. This was a very refreshing post! In the online world I mute or unfollow anyone who is too negative, because it then so easily becomes how I feel too. Your goals sound really positive though, I'm sure you can achieve them :)

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  5. Love this post! And I've found myself in the same boat as you on a few occasions with family members just not 'getting' it... I don't think a lot of people realise how much time and effort is put into blogs and how they help up grow as a person and develop our skills. But hey, haters gon' hate, you should be proud of your blog and how far you've come! Lyd x

    F U Z Z Y P E A C H D R O P S

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  6. I try to not associate with people who bring negativity in my life, and with the internet I have just come to expect it to be honest. Everyone learns to deal with it differently, and most methods are easier said than done. But always remember, you aren't obliged to be friends with anyone. If they aren't building you up, you don't need them.

    nueyork.blogspot.com

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